Games Cheats and Reviews

Critical Gamer writes: The third game in the successful pervert simulation series is finally here… wait no… that was probably just a dream. Ahem, anyway Stalker: Call of Pripyat is the latest in the S.T.A.L.K.E.R. series which see us thrust into the nightmarish ‘Zone’. The Zone is the area surrounding the nuclear plant in Chernobyl, which was devastated and evacuated following nuclear disaster in 1986. In the world of S.T.A.L.K.E.R. the zone has become home to all kinds of strange artefacts and scientific anomalies, attracting opportunistic scavengers and scientists to the area in droves. These scavengers are known as the titular Stalkers and in previous games, you were cast amongst their ranks and sent out to discover the secrets of the Zone.

Rapture may not be as mysterious and intriguing this second time around, but it is nonetheless host to a powerful and moving tale that allows you to better realize–or pervert–Ryan’s principles at your own discretion. Regardless of whether or not this is a return visit to paradise lost, there is plenty to be found here to make it a worthwhile, meaningful, and compelling one.

Critical Gamer Writes: We’re finding it hard to get excited about the PS3 ‘Wand’.

The device itself has the appearance of a chunky microphone with a neon coloured top, making it look like a cross between a raver’s glostick and a pervert’s sex toy. That’s not so much a problem for us. We care about how the thing is used, not how it looks; and besides, what we’re talking about here is a prototype, which could theoretically differ almost completely aesthetically from the final product. So no, the laughable look of the thing isn’t what’s dampening our enthusiasm.

Stevie Lim writes…. Console gaming has evolved considerably since the NES first graced our living rooms. Besides the obvious improvements in graphics, storytelling has progressed considerably to the point where we can become emotionally invested in the plight of game characters.

Gaming has matured. So, why then for the love all that is good and pure, do girlfriends always walk in at a point which, taken out of context, makes the game you are playing seem puerile and makes you look like a pervert? I don’t mean games like DOA Extreme which are targeted at perverts, but rather games that you care about. Let’s be honest, many people don’t entirely comprehend our passion for gaming, and walking in at the wrong time on any of these five games could result in further…confusion.

Kotaku Writes:

I could be reading from the Nacogdoches phone book to you right now and you wouldn’t care. You saw "nude zoey" and clicked the link, right? Hope your boss/girlfriend/mom isn’t in the room.

Modder Zaigo has painstakingly recreated Zoey as a quite deshabille zombie fighter. It goes without saying that if you go to L4D mods to view all the nude Zoey screenshots, you should consider that you are looking at porn.

Notes the creator:

This is not a skin, this is a completely new model for Zoey. She has some clothes on, but hardly enough to cover anything at all.

You will also notice that her "lovelies" bounce when she runs or walks and Francis, Louis and Bill can’t stop staring. Now get your tissues out, lock the door, download the mod and enjoy, you pervert.

I like it that this guy calls me a pervert. That’s like getting a disapproving glance from the clerk working at a porn store. I might be a creep, but they work at a porn store. And this guy spent God-knows-how-many hours retouching Zoey’s labia just so he could get her triangular love patch to Penthouse quality.

Next up, nude infected! Who wants to help me render some decaying Boomer dong?